Intentional Friction When Using Addictive Apps
Addiction by design is real. But digital detox isn't enough. Here's how intentional friction can help you stay in control of addictive apps—without quitting cold turkey.
Some apps can’t be swapped out. Social media platforms dominate our attention, and in many cases, they’re the only game in town if you want to stay socially connected. But here’s the truth: we’re not the customers—we’re the product. These platforms are free because we’re paying with our time and attention. And that’s exactly what makes them so addictive.
So, how do we continue using these tools without losing control of our time, focus, and mental clarity?
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Digital Detox Doesn’t Stick
You’ve probably heard the advice: delete the app, do a detox, go offline. That can help short term—but most of us bounce back eventually.
Instead, I looked deeper:
What value does this app actually give me?
Staying connected to friends abroad? That’s valid.
Getting inspired to run or move? Great.
Mindlessly scrolling to avoid FOMO? Not so great. That needs work.
When I clarified the purpose behind each app, I could decide whether it was helping me extend my abilities as a person—or shrinking them.
If it’s not enhancing your life, it’s not a tool—it’s a trap.
Introducing Intentional Friction
Once I decided that an app was worth keeping—but only in a limited, intentional way—I created friction.
That’s the secret.
These are some of my “intentional friction” tactics:
Hiding the app from my launcher/home screen
Requiring Face ID or passcode to open it
Uninstalling mobile versions, using desktop access only
Scheduling app access to specific times of day or week
The point is to add steps between urge and action—to give myself space to decide whether opening the app is really worth it.
Creating Space to Choose
Now, when the urge hits to check in, scroll, or "just take a quick look," I encounter a pause. That pause is everything.
It helps me ask:
Is this intentional?
Is this valuable?
Is this just reflex?
That’s the power of friction—it gives you back the ability to choose.
Start with Intention
The root of it all is this: Why are you using the app in the first place?
If you don’t know the answer, chances are, the app is using you.
That’s when it’s time to:
Introduce barriers
Remove shortcuts
Reclaim your attention
And if the app brings no real value? Maybe uninstalling is the better choice.
If you haven’t already, check out this post about mapping your digital footprint—because it all starts with awareness.
Last week, I talked about mapping my digital footprint—taking stock of cloud backups, passwords, and even getting rid of accounts. It’s a way to reclaim control over the digital trail I leave behind. This week, I want to go deeper into something just as vital: diversifying the services and providers I rely on.
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The Trap of Convenience
The most common path? Using whatever app comes preinstalled on your device. For me, that means Apple apps—Mail, Notes, iCloud, Safari. It’s convenient, polished, and frictionless. But convenience is a double-edged sword.
The more you rely on one provider, the harder it becomes to switch. Their ecosystem is designed to pull you in and make it feel impossible—or at least exhausting—to leave. If you ever try using a single app across two operating systems, you’ll quickly feel how locked-in you are. That’s when digital dependence becomes obvious.
Why Diversification Matters
Digital sovereignty isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the ability to choose. When one company has too much control over your digital life, your freedom to move, adapt, and protect your data shrinks.
Diversifying your digital stack means:
Avoiding single points of failure
Gaining flexibility to move your data
Aligning tools with your personal values
Preserving your privacy and autonomy
Put simply: transferability = optionality. And optionality is power.
How to Start Diversifying
You don’t need to go cold turkey on all default apps. But intentional steps make a big difference. Here’s a framework I use:
Map it out. List the core services you use: email, calendar, file storage, notes, etc. Who owns them?
Question defaults. Ask why you’re using each app. Is it actually the best fit—or just the easiest option?
Explore alternatives. Look for tools that are cross-platform, open-source, or built with privacy in mind.
Check for interoperability. Can this app talk to other tools? Can you export your data easily? That’s a sign of tech built with the user in mind.
Divide intentionally. If a provider gets access to your data, it should be a choice, not an accident. Slice your digital life with intention.
Beyond the Big Players
It’s not just Apple. Android phones come preloaded with Google services that push you into their ecosystem. These defaults aren’t neutral—they shape your digital habits. They silently take ownership of your attention, your data, your workflow.
The goal isn’t to reject every major company. It’s to be aware of who you’re giving your digital life to—and why.
Digital Freedom, One App at a Time
Digital freedom isn’t about being off-grid. It’s about having choice. It’s about aligning your tools with your values, having the option to leave, and staying in control of your digital identity.
Start small. Pick one default app, swap it out, and see how it feels. Challenge the defaults—and reclaim your tech on your terms.